Category: We’re all misfits

I am redecorating the new classroom I moved into for the upcoming school year. It’s a pretty normal thing to do. Today I went to Home Depot to get some dark blue paint samples for my accent wall. It’s a pretty normal thing to do. Then I went to JoAnn Fabrics to look at some possible options for covering my bulletin boards. It’s a pretty normal thing to do. Then, I spent about 6 hours panicking over what would happen if I pick the wrong shade of blue and what if the gold stars I want to paint on my accent wall look bad, and also what if I decide on the wrong fabric or the wrong curtain for my window and mess up the contact paper for my shelves and my desk and what if my decorations look bad and nothing matches and everything looks terrible and what a waste of money that would be and why am I terrible at everything? This is not a normal thing to do, and yes, I realize this was a terrible run-on sentence.

My brain lives on run-on sentences like the one above and they are not normal, though to be fair “normal” is not real anyway (but that is a subject for another post!). There are many things about my brain I only discovered in recent years are not normal. For example, during my first year of college, I discovered it did not take most people over an hour to fall asleep every night. I also learned most people do not plan every outfit they are going to wear a week in advance, with back-up options because of Colorado’s unpredictable weather. For the past year I have been going to the same church and I still get nervous before going in, as if it’s my first time there. This was also the case with my Cru weekly meetings during college; almost 4 years’ worth. Definitely not normal.

I have other examples of strange happenings in my brain, such as the time it took me over 30 minutes to experience Taco Bell for the first time via a Doritos Locos Taco because I was so worried about not liking it, or the times as a child (we’re talking starting around age 6) where I would panic – tears and everything, anytime I was running late. My senior year of high school, I was in AP Psychology and we all took an anxiety assessment used by psychologists and I got one of the highest scores in the entire class – a 29, 12 was the average. I could go on, but you get the idea. None of this is normal, unless you have an anxiety disorder, which I do. My counselor who I have been seeing for the last year confirmed these suspicions and also believes I have depression and a “mild” form of PTSD.

I know my examples of the way my anxiety manifests in me are silly, plenty of people have laughed at me over the years during these moments. I am aware the shade of blue I pick will not ruin my classroom, and regardless of my classroom’s aesthetics, my students will learn just fine. I know redecorating should just be fun. Knowing I get worked up over such “trivial” matters makes it worse because I experience a lot of shame when it happens and when I am unable to stop it. Lots of well-intentioned Christians I know and Christian authors I don’t know say worrying and anxiety is a sin because it represents a lack of trust in God. They bring up the words used repetitively in the Bible “Be not afraid” or the ever so famous passage in 1 Peter 5:7

“Cast all your anxiety on Him [God] because He cares for you.”

People are quick to say we need to erase the stigma around mental illness and how important it is to love those who are struggling with mental health, but many of those same people are also quick to say people like me are trapped in this “sin” and if we would just trust God, we’d have peace in our hearts or something similar. But it is more difficult than that. My brain is overproducing or underproducing some sort of chemical. I go to counseling. I do things despite my fears – I am always outside my comfort zone. And I love God and I do trust Him and have shown this because I have followed Him and His desires for me and all the while felt afraid. And I always will because there is no cure for my disorder. It will be with me until I die.

A lifetime of mental illness (and other life struggles I will not be getting into at this time) takes its toll on a person. There were times where I wanted to make some irreversible decisions because it felt like this would be the only way to get my brain to stop making run-on sentences. But I never went through with it. 21 Pilots recently came out with a song called “Redecorate” and the chorus explains how I felt during the lowest points of my life quite well and why I didn’t go through with anything bad. Give it a listen sometime.

I am in a much better place now though, primarily thanks to God and the joy He brings even from bad things as I continue to put my trust in Him. The Harry Potter series also gets a huge shoutout, a few months back I even got the Hogwarts skyline tattooed on my arm with a semi-colon to represent what that series has gotten me through. Everyone who has cared for me over the years and my counselor have also been helpful. And my time teaching is continuing to be used by God to bring lots of joy into my life by helping others too.

It hasn’t exactly been a secret that I have anxiety, though this is the most I’ve really publicly shared, but I felt it was time. Lots of other people struggle with mental health and my hope is that this can provide some acknowledgement of that and maybe even help in removing part of the stigma. My hope is to also kindly remind people that mental illness is not a sin, in fact I and others like myself are actively choosing to follow God in spite of our untypical brain chemistry. I am a sinner, we all are sinners, but mental illnesses such as anxiety should not be the thing people point to as sin. There are plenty of other things I do that you can call out in my life as sin. Sin is a choice; a mental illness is not. Certainly, people should not use a disorder as an excuse for bad behaviors, however, the disorder itself is not a sin. Mental illness is stigmatized enough already; please don’t add to this, or better yet, see what you can do to help combat the stigma.

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post at some point in the future. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back the next time I post. Stay Amazing!

Despite being born into a Christian household (though technically starting off as Catholic), my own relationship with God did not truly become a priority until my second year of college and I only read the entire Bible for the first time back in 2018. This year I once again intend to read the Bible, this time in chronological order throughout this year. And no, this is not some New Years Resolutions nonsense; I intend to actually follow through with it, just as I did in 2018.

This is only my second time reading the Bible cover to cover and I am excited to go back and see all the notes and underlines I made three years ago (the notes I saw from today and yesterday already bring back memories and insights I had since forgotten!). The first time I read through the entire Bible, there were passages I did not fully understand (despite having the Jesus Bible that includes a bunch of additional insight) or passages sparking other questions and curiosities.

My tendency to question things, including my own spiritual beliefs began at a young age, but actually reading through scriptures led to an increase in doing so. Asking questions is beneficial, as long as I keep it from leading me towards frustration and hopelessness should I never find answers, and many of these questions are ones that likely never will get answers; I have a feeling this year I am going to come up with even more questions (in fact, I already came up with two new ones in the last two days!).

Three years ago, I wrote down all of my questions on a Notes page in my phone, and a few others have also come up and I added those as well. Below, are all of them. Some may include some additional context and for many I will reference the book/chapter it came from. Also, these are not all in order. Maybe someday a few of them will be answered. If you happen to have an answer feel free to let me know. Otherwise, please enjoy, and my sincerest apologies but not really if this leads you to an existential crisis.

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post at some point in the future. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back the next time I post. Stay Amazing!

Exactly two years and one day ago I had my wisdom teeth removed. Surgery went well, although I didn’t experience any ‘fun’ side effects from the laughing gas. Also, it turns out that Percocet gives me a stomachache, so I ended up just taking ibuprofen and dealing with my aching gums. The next morning was a Saturday. When I woke up that morning my stomach was still upset, my mouth hurt, and I was rocking some chipmunk cheeks. To try to keep my mind off of all this, my parents and I sat at the kitchen table and played Bananagrams (It’s kind of like Scrabble but that’s not the point). The phone rang and my Mom got up to answer it. She returned to the kitchen and informed me that my Great-Grandmother passed away that morning. The first thought that popped into my head was that I never had a chance to say goodbye. Also, it turns out, crying is a whole new experience when you’ve got a bunch of gauze in your mouth.

I first met Great-Grannie when I was a baby, but I don’t remember that because, I was a baby (duh!). So I guess I really met her in sixth grade when she came to stay with my Grandy for a few weeks. My Mom warned my sister and I to be on our best behavior because Great-Grannie had a tendency to be strict and harsh, as she was a woman of her time, that time being her birth around the year 1915 (that’s an approximation because she always lied about her age, but we know she made it to at least 100!). So of course, I was apprehensive about her and Grandy coming over for dinner. When she arrived, I gave her a firm handshake as I introduced myself and I could tell she was pleased. My Dad poured a glass of her drink of choice, Scotch, and we all fell into simple conversation.

The two of us hit it off that night. I got her to tell story after story about her experience growing up on a farm in North Dakota. She spoke about all their dogs that they always named Trigger, the tramp that decided to take up residence in their barn, the gypsies, and the snowstorms that were so severe that they had to follow a clothesline from their house to the barn because otherwise they would have gotten lost in the Blizzard. She learned that I played the flute and so I played some songs for her after dinner. We hugged goodbye and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. After she left, my parents looked at me, dumbstruck. They told me they’d never seen her in bright spirits like that and that I brought something incredible out of her that night.

So for the next few weeks, Great-Grannie and Grandy came around for dinner often and we would chat and I would play the flute for her. But then it was time for her to return to North Dakota. I cried when I had to say goodbye and she was heartbroken too and wanted me to come with her. But of course, I had to stay. But we would exchange letters and talk on the phone sometimes. That Christmas, my sister and I got Christmas cards from her and five dollars each, which was actually a huge deal because she was known for her frugality and traditionally sent everyone only one dollar. But to my family’s amazement she also sent an old knife with a note attached. It explained that she used it to cut her and my belated Great-Grandfathers’ cake on their 25^th wedding anniversary and she hoped that my parents would use it when the time came too. And then she came back the next summer, and the summer after that.

But then she moved to Arizona the summer before I started high school. A few months later she had a stroke. She made a pretty good recovery considering she was well into her nineties, but she could no longer write very well and she had to use a walker (note that up until this point that she didn’t even use a cane!). For spring break that year, my family and drove to Arizona. We did visit her for one evening and took her out to dinner. We had a blast, and like always, she begged me to stay with her. I wish I had known then that that night was going to be the last time I ever saw her, or ever heard her voice.

See, life gets complicated. Certain circumstances led to me to being unable to contact her, even by phone, or letter, and I am not going to go into those details at this time. And obviously, I couldn’t go back to Arizona to visit her. But after I graduated high school I did receive a card from her, with a ten-dollar check (again, big deal because of her frugality). But I knew something was wrong because it was signed ‘Aunt Marge’ and was an anniversary card. But like I said, there was nothing I could do. That November she turned at least 100 so I got to see a newspaper article her hometown from North Dakota wrote about her. And less than a year later, she was gone. After she died, which allegedly was because she broke one of her bones (I’m not entirely sure about which one or how accurate this is, like I said the lines of communication were complicated) and she didn’t wake up after the doctors tried to do surgery, we learned that she had dementia. It is comforting to know that despite everything, even dementia, she still thought of me and loved me.

And now, here I am, two years later. My mouth wounds from the wisdom teeth removal have certainly healed, but moving on from the death of a loved one doesn’t work the same way. Yes, it becomes more manageable as time passes, but sometimes things come up and it brings back that old hurt. Great-Grannie is not the first, nor the last person I’ve known and loved to have died. Yet, the pain of losing someone is worth all of the love and shared memories. I love her and I miss her, but I am thankful to have known her. And death does not have the last word, because the memories are still alive and well and some day we will meet again.

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post at some point in the future. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back the next time I post. Stay Amazing!

Last weekend, my sister graduated from high school. This fall her, and several of her girl friends are coming to CSU. I’ve known a few of her friends since before they even started kindergarten so I will not hesitate to completely embarrass them and my sister anytime I run into them on campus. It’s going to be great! But in all seriousness, starting college can be intimidating which is why I gave each of them a guidebook called “How to CSU: a Guide to Surviving and Thriving While Attending College at Colorado State University.” It includes 18 (because they’re the class of 2018 hahaha wow I’m so funny) pieces of advice for having a successful first year at CSU. Some of the advice is about CSU specifically, but other parts can apply to college in general. So without further ado, here is what I gave them.

Introduction

College is an experience. Wait, scratch that. College is a bunch of experiences – both good and bad. Some days, you will be making new friends and exploring the gorgeous city of Fort Collins. Other days, it will be 2 a.m. and you’ll be sobbing into a cup of instant mac’n’cheese because you have three exams and two papers due in the next thirteen hours that you haven’t started studying for or writing. It’s a time of growth and excitement, and it’s a time of anxiety and frustration. But all of these experiences are going to prepare you for the real world.

CSU is an amazing school. You have made a wise decision. This school and the areas around it have so much to offer you. You are embarking on a new journey. It is exhilarating but it is also frightening. There is freedom, and with it comes tremendous responsibility, which is an overwhelming thought because the reality is you likely have no idea what you are doing or are going to do. And if you think you know, you are wrong. You do not, you whippersnapper. You’ve got no idea. You may be coming in with one major declared and end up changing to a completely different field. College, and the real world for that matter, are not high school. Everything you thought you knew is a lie (Alright, maybe not everything, but I’m using a hyperbole here because they help drive a point when used properly!).

Luckily for you, I have been attending CSU for the past three years. I have knowledge, experience, and insight. And I am going to share it with you because you have what it takes to succeed. So get comfy and grab a snack because you’re about to read and learn from a long list of advice about surviving as a student at CSU.

1. Whenever Possible, Leave Your Door Open.

You have probably heard this one before because it’s important and a great way to meet the people in your hall. People are more inclined to introduce themselves if your door is already open because it’s an invitation for them to come and talk to you. Plus, it gets hot in there and this will help circulate the air.

2. Wear Shoes You Can Walk In.

From my hall to my first class was about a twelve-minute walk. I also had back-to-back classes on opposite ends of campus and had ten minutes to hustle over there. Trust me, you want comfortable shoes that you can move quickly in.

3. Keep Your Dorm Clean, or at Least Contain the Mess to Your Side.

Those rooms are small so even a little clutter goes along way. But sometimes life happens, or you have to try on twenty outfits before deciding what to wear. In those times, keep your roommate happy and don’t let the mess travel to their side of the dorm. Whenever my roommate and I were in a hurry and didn’t have the chance to clean, we always made sure our mess was contained to our side of the room and it made life much easier.

4. You Have 20 Guest Swipes, Donate to an Upperclassman.

I’ll admit, the food in the dinning halls is nothing to write home about. But free food is free food. And it’s made all ready to go. No cooking required. Around finals week you will see upperclassmen standing outside the dinning halls begging to be swiped in. Take pity on the poor things. They’re weary, stressed, and starving. In a year you’ll miss the dining hall to some degree too (Note that I am an upperclassman that you can help out).

5. Walk Around Campus to See Where Your Classes are Located.

CSU is pretty easy to navigate once you get used to it. But at first it can seem huge and overwhelming. Plus, you do not want to be late to your classes on the first day because you got lost. So pull up your schedule, see what buildings your classes are in, and physically walk to them so you know exactly how to get there and how long it will take you to get there. It’s one less thing you’ll have to worry about for the first day.

6. Explore Hoorsetooth.

Horsetooth is breathtaking. And there are many parts to it. So start exploring it right away. It’s a short drive and a great way to take a break from the craziness that is college and refocus.

7. Come to Cru.

Cru is a campus ministry that I am heavily involved in and it is truly incredible. God has used it and the people there to change my life for the better. Our mantra is “Come as you are.” So come as you are. It’s a way to meet lots of new people in a friendly, loving, and Godly environment. It’s on Thursday nights in Johnson Hall, which is by the Oval, at 7:30. Plus if you go to Old C’s after your first meeting you get free pizza. And for that, you can refer to number 10.

8. Try the Mac’n’Cheese at Durell or AV Express.

I have a passion for mac’n’cheese. And the kind they sell at the express dining centers is amazing. It is easily in my top five. Also refer back to number 4 and feel free to use a swipe to give me some!

9. Be Safe.

CSU and Fort Collins are fairly safe. But things do still happen so don’t be reckless. Do not accept any drinks from strangers (unless you are at a restaurant and the waiter is setting down that Sprite you ordered) and do not wander around alone at night. Look after your friends, and even people who aren’t your friends. If something feels off, trust your instincts because it is truly better to be safe than sorry. Fort Collins is an incredible place and you want to enjoy your time at CSU. Just don’t be careless.

10. When You are Offered Free Food, You Take the Free Food.

Okay, I know that last one was a little intense and certainly something to keep in mind for this bit of advice, but, seriously free food is amazing. Dining halls are convenient, but they do get a little boring after awhile. Therefore, if people on the plaza are giving out food, or a club has an event with free food, go.

11. There is Kind of a Cult on Campus. Do Not Engage.

The plaza is a place for free speech, which is good because the freedom of speech is a fundamental right in the U.S. But this also means anyone can speak. Sometimes people show up with giant crosses and yell at people and say that they are going to hell. Some of them may try to approach you. Believe me, it’s best to ignore it and remember that what they are demonstrating is not God’s love.

12. Explore Old Town.

Old Town is beautiful. Especially at night in December when the put lights on the trees. Fun fact: Main St. in Disney World was inspired by Old Town Fort Collins. So in a way, you have a piece of ‘the happiest place on Earth’ in your very city. You should take advantage of that.

13. Embrace the Weird.

You may have chosen a school in Fort Collins and not Boulder, but it’s still got its fair share of weird. Sometimes you’ll see people rolling into class on a Razor Scooter wearing a onesie. I am weird. You are weird. People are weird. Weird is good. Embrace it.

14. Go to the Games.

The new football stadium is amazing and adds to the game experience. But don’t just go to the football games; support some of the other sports too. All teams like it when fans show up, especially friends you might have on IM teams.

15. Do the Initiating.

Yes, this whole college thing is new and intimidating to you. Your day-to-day is changing as you embark on a new chapter of your life. The good news is, you are going to be surrounded by others who are going through that too. Don’t be afraid to start a conversation with one of them. Chances are they wanted someone to talk to but were too nervous. You guys are all in the same boat. You are no better than anyone and no one is better than you so talk to the people around you and make friends without feeling intimidated because there’s no reason to be.

16. Leave Fort Collins.

I know a lot of what I have said so far has a lot to do with campus or the city but it’s okay to get away. That can mean going home, or going to the Aquarium in Denver with friends, or some other adventure. You are going to have a blast in college, but college is not the real world. Leave the bubble occasionally to clear your head and see what’s going on in the rest of the world. It will keep you sane.

17. Be A Part of Something.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be Cru (but again, do come!). But join something. Get a job on campus, join a sorority, run for student government, play on an IM team, participate in a club or a Bible Study, I don’t care, just do something! Being involved in something helps you feel like you belong and is a way to make friends outside of your hall and your classes. Plus, it’s an opportunity to dive into something you’re passionate about.

18. Be Who You Want to Be.

You are who you are, not what people say or think you are. You are an adult now and are not living at home so you have more choices to make than ever before. High school is over and so are the cliques and the popularity that came with it. Use that freedom to be an individual. Don’t do what other people say you should and shouldn’t do because you want them to like you (Do listen though if it is a matter of safety or good advice like do your homework, or anything I’ve written!). The right people will like you for you, not an act that you put on. And when I say ‘be who you want to be’ that means act like the person you want to become. If you want to be the person that can run a six-minute mile, then start using a treadmill (The rec center on campus is massive and has all kinds of equipment.). If you want to be the person who leads and inspires others, then act like a leader. To become who you want to become you need to get up and act like them. And remember, it doesn’t happen overnight, and you will screw up. You will screw up a lot. It’s okay, we all do.

So there you have it, these were the 18 tips on How to CSU. Get ready to make memories and friends that will last a lifetime and maybe even learn a thing or two in class (Bonus Tip: Ditch at least once in your life, it’s not the end of the world. But do not make a habit of skipping. After all you are paying thousands to go!).  Have fun and good luck in all of your endeavors. I’ll see you around campus!

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post every Saturday. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back next week. Stay Amazing!

I had some serious difficulty coming up with something to post today. One could even say that I was struggling to come up with the words to write. And that’s when inspiration struck; this post is going to just be a list of words that I like with their corresponding definitions and a fun sentence. These are words I have come across on Pinterest, while reading, through an app I use called ‘Word of the Day’ (it’s pretty awesome, you learn a new word everyday and I highly recommend it), in books, or even in everyday conversation or in school. Hopefully by looking at this list, you’ll find a new word that you can use to make yourself seem more intelligent and impressive to your friends and family. So without further ado, here are some words to help you strengthen your vocabulary.

Absquatulate: Run away; usually taking something or somebody along. My friend absquatulated with my car keys.

Acerbic: A sharp and forthright comment or way of speaking. Her tone with me was acerbic.

Apocryphal: A false story or statement that has been wildly circulated as being true. The myth that it takes 7 years to digest gum is an Apocryphal story.

Armamentarium: A collection of resources available for a certain purpose. He had an armamentarium of things related to astronomy.

Aubade: A love song sung at dawn. He played his guitar and sang an aubade as he watched the sun rise.

Axiomatic: Self-evident or unquestionable. It is axiomatic that I love history.

Beatific: Blissfully happy. I felt beatific because I did not fail any of my classes.

Beleaguer: Annoy persistently. When we were younger, my sister used to beleaguer me.

Bezoar: A small and hard mass that can form in the stomach of a goat or sheep. A bezoar is an antidote that Harry used to save Ron’s life in their 6^th year.

Bibliophile: A lover of books. I am a bibliophile.

Biddable: Ready to accept and follow instructions. Most stormtroopers are biddable.

Bombinate: Buzz, hum. Bumblebees bombinate.

Boorish: Bad-mannered. His boorish behavior made him hard to get along with.

Bungalow: A small and cozy home. Bungalows were originally developed in South Asia.

Cantankerous: Bad-tempered, argumentative, and uncooperative. Working with someone who is cantankerous is awful.

Concatenation: A series of interconnected things or events. The Harry Potter series is a concatenation of events.

Conniption: A fit of extreme anger or excitement. Cain was jealous and  in such a state of conniption that he killed his brother Abel.

Consternation: Feelings of anxiety or dismay, typically at something unexpected. When I am surprised, I often feel consternated.

Dandle: To move a baby up and down in a playful or affectionate way. The mother dandled her baby on her lap.

Dastard: A dishonorable or despicable person. Brutus acted dastardly when he stabbed Caesar.

Defenestration: The act of throwing someone out of a window. Instead of using the killing curse, Voldemort could have simply defenestrated Harry and saved himself a lot of effort.

Donnybrook: A scene of uproar or disorder. People at the meeting began to fight and the place became a donnybrook.

Effervescence: Bubbles in a liquid. Sparkling water is an effervescent drink.

Entelechy: The realization of potential. Aristotle defines the soul as the entelechy of the body.

Extirpate: Root out and destroy completely. We extirpated the weeds in the garden.

Exultant: Triumphantly happy. The disciples felt exultant when they realized Jesus rose from the dead.

Festoon: To decorate a place. The house was festooned with Christmas décor.

Fiasco: A complete failure. My presentation was a total fiasco.

Flibbertigibbet: A flighty or excessively talkative person. I was overwhelmed because the person I was talking to was such a flibbertigibbet.

Floccinaucinihilipilification: The act of deciding that something is useless. Through the process of floccinaucinihilipilification, I realized most of my trivia knowledge was useless.

Futz: To waste time or idle. I futzed around instead of finishing my homework.

Galumph: To move in a clumsy or noisy manner. He galumphed down the aisle.

Gauche: Socially graceless. She was ill-mannered and gauche.

Hardscrabble: Involving hard work and struggle. College can be quite the hardscrabble.

Holus-bolus: All at once. I had a presentation and two papers due holus-bolus.

Hullabaloo: A commotion or fuss. There was such a hullabaloo at the pool last night.

Humdinger: A person or thing that is remarkable or outstanding. All of my friends are humdingers.

Invective: Insulting, abusive, or highly critical language. Her cruel words were invective.

Kerfuffle: A commotion or fuss. I heard a kerfuffle in the kitchen.

Kyoodle: To make loud and useless noises. My friend has a tendency to kyoodle.

Lethologica: The inability to remember a word or name. I always have to apologize for my lethologica when I ask someone their name for the 12^th time.

Limerence: The state of being infatuated with another person. He had been in a state of limerence for the past 3 months.

Monomania: Exaggerated or obsessive enthusiasm for one thing. Sheldon experiences monomania in regards to his passion for trains.

Nefarious: Wicked or villainous. Thanos’ plot to obtain all of the infinity stones is nefarious.

Onomatopoeia: A word that sound like its meaning. ‘Cuckoo’ is an example of an onomatopoeia.

Orphic: Mysterious and entrancing. The chamber had an orphic vibe.

Parsimonious: Stingy or frugal with their money or resources. Some people are very parsimonious.

Petrichor: The smell of the earth after rain. I love that petrichor scent.

Peregrination: A long journey. Frodo’s peregrination to Mordor took several years.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis: Black lung disease. Coal miners can contract Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

Poltroon: A coward. Peter Pettigrew was a poltroon.

Quixotic: Extravagantly chivalrous or romantic. A hopeless romantic will swoon over a quixotic act.

Ratatouille: A spicy French stew. Ratatouille can be made by Pixar rats.

Reticent: Not revealing one’s thoughts or feelings readily. People rightly believe that I tend to be reticent.

Ripsnorter: Something extraordinary. That discovery was a ripsnorter.

Serendipity: The occurrence of happy events by chance. There is so much serendipity to be seen in nature.

Scripturient: Having a passion to write. I write blog post because of my scripturient nature.

Somnambulist: A person who sleepwalks. She had to keep the door to her bedroom locked because she was a somnambulist.

Sonder: The realization that every passerby has a life as vivid and complex as one’s own. When I realized that the other 7 billion people on the earth were as complex and real as me, I experienced sonder.

Sonorous: A deep and full sound. The church bells had a sonorous ring.

Supercilious: Behaving as though one thinks they are superior to others. Many of the Pharisees that Jesus interacted with were supercilious.

Swivet: A fluster or panic. The stress of writing the paper I had due sent me into a swivet.

Tetchy: Bad-tempered and irritable. It is common for people to be tetchy in the morning before they have their coffee.

Tintinnabulation: A tinkling sound. The tintinnabulation her bracelets made when they touched was barely audible.

Turophile: One who loves cheese. I am a Turophile.

Twaddle: Foolish or nonsense speech or writing. Some people may think my blog posts are a bunch of twaddle but they are wrong.

Uniped: A person or animal with only one foot or leg. The flamingo was a uniped because it lost one of its legs while fighting another flamingo.

Woolgather: To engage in idle daydreaming or speculation. Sometimes I woolgather when I should be paying attention in class.

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post every Saturday. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back next week. Stay Amazing!

Today’s post is going to be different. I decided to write up a short story. Maybe I’ll continue writing stuff like this in the future along with my other types of posts. I hope you enjoy it.

It was easy to watch the woman from my perch in the tree. As I looked through her window, I could see her putting the finishing touches on her freshly curled hair. Soon she would dab some makeup on her wrists to cover up the bruises, and shortly after that, it would be my time to act.

I first saw the woman one summer night a few years ago. We were on a road winding through the forest and at that late hour the only light sources came from the moon and from the headlights of the car she was driving. As the car sped closer, the headlights grew bigger and brighter, until they were almost blinding. And that’s when the accident happened.

She swerved. She lost control. She crashed. Several branches of the tree she hit broke off due to the intensity of the impact. Shards of the glass from the no longer lit headlights were all over the ground. The tree was broken. The car was totaled. And the woman? Miraculously, she was alright.

Ever since the night of the accident, I stayed close to the woman. I followed her to work and spied on her through a window. I followed her to the gym, I followed her on her girls’ nights, I followed her home where I could continue to peer through her window. She never knew I was there, but I knew her whole life.

I looked through the window again. She was finished covering her bruises with makeup. I heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. The woman’s husband was home. It was time for me to take action. After all, I was the reason she swerved that night. She swerved to save me, a lowly, little squirrel. She saved my life, so I made myself an oath that one day I would save hers.

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post every Saturday. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back next week. Stay Amazing!

While I don’t possess an eidetic or photographic memory, my memory is better than most people’s. It’s good enough that I have a fairly decent recollection from my time as a preschooler. And today, I will be sharing some of my memories from that time period, or more specifically, about someone special from that time in my life.

As previously discussed in other posts, in some ways I was not your typical child so it is not surprising that I didn’t make friends at Alphabet Soup Preschool – at least not right away. The teachers were strict and the kids laughed at me because I had never heard of the food ‘worms ‘n’ dirt’ before (I know, I know, depressing stuff.). Initially, there was one kid I had as a friend because we already knew each other as our parents were friends. And then there was Beau.

The only physical characteristic I remember about Beau is that he had dark hair (he was also probably short because we were four and five years old!). I also have no idea what his last name is, if I’m even spelling his first name right, or what has become of him. But I do remember what matters the most; his character and friendship.

Beau would talk to me and play with me. Outside in the schoolyard, there was this gray, plastic castle structure that we played on until a bunch of boys came to kick me off because “no girls allowed.” Well, let’s just say Beau changed the rule and let me on. He would stick up for me when no one else, including myself, would. He and I became friends along with the other boy I knew and we had each other’s backs. And eventually, all of the other kids warmed up to me and we all became friends to. All was well.

But time passed and soon it was time for us four and five-year old’s to ‘graduate’ and enter our next stage of life; elementary school. And elementary school was a wonderful time in my life that I wouldn’t have had any other way, but those are stories for future posts.

Considering this was only a sendoff to kindergarten, the setup for it was pretty legit. I mean, we had a freakin’ stage. We’re all a bunch of little kids, seriously who does that? And of course, like any graduation, when our name was called, we had to go and walk across the stage to receive of diploma.

Now there are some important concepts to remember here; I was only four years old, slightly shy and in a roomful of people, and did not yet have experience with performing or doing anything in front of audience. So of course when my name was called, instead of walking across the stage, I just stood there, frozen and wishing all of these frightening strangers would quit staring at me. I was way too afraid to walk across that stage in front of all my classmates and their extremely tall parents I’d never met.

That is, until Beau (gosh I really hope I’ve been spelling his name right!) came to my rescue. He walked right over to me, grabbed my hand, and said to me, “Audrey you can do this!” And then, together, we walked across the stage to receive my diploma. Then after the ceremony all of us got balloons and of course I accidentally let go of mine and had to watch it float off into the distance. Upon seeing this, Beau promptly released his balloon which then led to the other kids releasing their’s too (sorry environment!). And that was the last time I ever saw Beau.

Sixteen years later, here I am, writing about some kid I only knew for a brief period of my life. And why? Because a kind act, no matter how simple or minuscule, should not be overlooked. Sure, the story is pretty silly, but Beau’s friendship and all of the kind things he did made the world to me as a four-year old girl. So my dear reader, when given the choice, choose to be kind. It will likely mean more to that person than you think, and it will be remembered. And if by chance, you’re out there Beau, thank you for being one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and I hope you are doing well (and I’m sorry if I’ve been misspelling your name!).

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post every Saturday. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back next week. Stay Amazing!

I’ve never asked anybody if they have a favorite month but I’d be willing to guess most people’s answer would not be August. For one thing, there’s a 91.67%, or 11/12 chance that someone would pick a different month (I myself am rather partial to September). Additionally, for many people August can mean the start of a new school year. After three months of no homework or studying, the idea of returning to class may seem, well, less than appealing.

For some, there’s more to this transition than saying ‘see ya in nine months’ to summer. There are the kids who have to move schools, or are entering into middle school, high school, or college for the first time. It’s exciting sure, but it can also be frightening to venture into the unknown. Even if you or your child is not approaching one of these pivotal transitions, the start of the school year can still be daunting. Fortunately, I have a piece of advice. If you’re a student, join one of your school’s ministries. If you’re a parent, encourage your kid to join one of their school’s ministries.

Alright so maybe this doesn’t appear to be any sort of brand new or shocking revelation. I mean, what did you expect? I’m just a nineteen-year-old college kid. Yes, it’s fairly simple advice but simple advice is often the best advice. And it’s one piece of advice I really wish I had taken two years ago when I began my freshman year of college.

On the surface, my freshman year of college seemed fine. And it was. My classes were okay, my roommate was great, and I made some friends. But eventually I realized that something was missing – or rather someone. God was missing and honestly, He’s not something that should be missing. So I decided that come sophomore year I would find a campus ministry because I needed God again and I needed Him fast.

I won’t sugarcoat it, Cru, the campus ministry I joined was not lifechanging – at first. I still remember how loud and quick my heart pounded and the way my hands trembled with anxiety during those first few weekly meetings and Women’s Bible Studies (and there was that first study where I spilled spaghetti all over the floor but I digress). But eventually all of that stopped. Soon enough going became exciting and friendships began blossoming. Most importantly, I returned to my relationship with God. He was there waiting, arms out.

Whether you’re seeking God or not, He’s there, arms out. And I suggest that you run to Him. To any student, pursuing God, atheist, spiritual, or anything of the sort, I encourage you to give your school’s ministry a try. At Cru our saying is ‘Come as you are’ which is great because it shows that we are one of the many ministries that will welcome anyone regardless of their backgrounds and beliefs. By checking out a college ministry like Cru at the very least you’ll meet some new people and learn something new. Last year I thought something was missing from my life. Now I know that I was the one who was missing from God. And I’m glad I returned.

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post every Saturday. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back next week. Stay Amazing!

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