The Right Place

On Monday night, my grandmother had a stroke and is now recovering well after being released from the hospital. And I was not there. On Friday, my friend celebrated her 22^nd birthday. And I was not there. Today, two of my friends married each other and my Dad and sister went to a Rockies game to celebrate Father’s Day. And I was not there. Every night since June 8^th, the sun has set over the Rocky Mountains, each one being a unique masterpiece water colored by God Himself.

And I was not there.

Saturday, June 8, 2019, 2:08 pm EST. A plane landed in Providence, Rhode Island. Surviving on about three hours of sleep and a packet of airline pretzels, I got off the plane, but the reality still hadn’t sunk in. I was on the other side of the country in a brand-new place where I would live for nine weeks with three girls I had yet to meet, with the intentions of glorifying God. Even after meeting my team and getting settled into the apartment, I still wondered when it would sink in that I was on a Cru Summer Mission.

It did not sink in on Sunday at church when meeting friendly people like Ray who plays percussion and loves puns, or Sylvia who wins shirts playing Bingo. Or when my team and I met the pastor and learned a little more about the camp we would be helping to run. Or when our team did a scavenger hunt around Providence to get to know the city better. It also didn’t feel real when I stuck my hands in the tank of our apartment toilet because our renters thought it was crafty to try to fix the chain connected to the handle with a paper clip (it actually was a pretty genius move on their part to be honest!). Even when walking up and down the streets and around the mall searching for a summer job, reality never struck me.

The reality finally struck when I realized that life in Colorado kept moving without me. Life goes on and I do not have the ability to be in multiple places at once. And it can be tough to grapple with. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t asked God several times if He was really sure that He was right in bringing me to Providence, and taking me away from everything happening back home (yes I am aware, that it is quite prideful to ask God to re-evaluate things, I am human, sue me!). But after just over a week, I do feel confident in stating that He was right to call me out here. If I didn’t come to Providence, I may not have missed things back home, like mountain sunsets (seriously, it is really flat terrain out here!) or events with friends and family, but I would have missed the events going on in Providence.

Things I would have missed by not coming to Rhode Island are a mix of fun times and sorrows, but all are teaching moments about God. I would have missed getting to know and live with three amazing women from all over the country who answered God with a “yes.” I would have missed out on getting to experience living in a place besides Colorado for an extended period of time. This week I got to explore Providence, Boston, and a whole lot of ice cream places because of the Rhode Island Food Fights coupons for free ice cream at twenty-three different locations (I have a feeling we will not be able to make it to all of them unfortunately). I also rode a bike for the first time in nine years and did not maim myself or others while attempting to steer through the city, so I would also consider that a victory!

As our team is the first one ever doing a Cru-affiliated mission here, additional stress comes with creating a foundation, and other events, both ones that bring immense joy and immense sorrow, have contributed to this stress. We rejoiced meeting the newborn baby of one staff couple. She arrived earlier than planned, coming a few days before the other women and I arrived. She is a blessing, albeit, an earlier than expected one which understandably changes some of the plans of this mission. And we are mourning and grieving the loss of another child, and seeking to find God and His goodness in such overwhelming pain. Some of us are struggling to find jobs, with some coming in with what they thought was guaranteed employment, only to have it fall through at the last second. And as we have reached out to the neighborhood around us, having great conversations with people, it was also clear that many people here are hurting, and they do not have a relationship with God in the midst of their trials.

I have often wondered just where God is in struggles like these, and in the baggage I am carrying with me from the past semester. This week He is teaching me to rely on Him instead of my own expectations and compulsive need to think up potential future scenarios and then solve them. Because for once, there were numerous things I have failed to predict. And we are only just approaching week two out of nine. He is also revealing to me that even though life goes on in Colorado, it also goes on in Providence. And He wants me in Rhode Island for nine weeks of that life. Yes, I miss my mountains, I am missing birthdays, weddings, family events, and Cru Summer Connect nights in Fort Collins with my friends, but if I was there, I would be missing things here. Right now, Providence is the right place for me and in another eight weeks, Fort Collins will be the right place. There is still a lot I do not understand, and a lot of growth will occur as more moments of joy and more moments of hardship crop up this summer. But God will be there, in control of it all. As I often say when I realize I honestly don’t know anything, “that God guy, He knows what He’s doing.”

If you’re intrigued by this post and looking forward to what I’ll write about in the future, you can expect a new post at some point in the future. Also, if you feel inclined, feel free to leave a comment below about what you think. Thanks for all your support and I hope you’ll come back the next time I post. Stay Amazing!